Sonder

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is a fascinating project by John Koenig. It’s a collection of words that aim to describe complex emotions and feelings that are difficult to put into words or don't have an existing term in the English language. Among the few words that I have gone through in this dictionary, "sonder" is my favorite. It's the realization that every stranger or passerby we encounter has a life as intricate and complex as our own, complete with their unique experiences, ambitions, and worries.

This feeling is very strong whenever I find myself navigating through a crowd. I love observing the faces of people and trying to get a glimpse of their life in the few seconds I have before they pass me by. If I were an artist, I would visualize sonder with a drawing of a bustling crowd. Each person in the crowd would be at the center of a miniature universe, with their heart as the epicenter. As people move around and go about their day, their universes collide ever so slightly, creating sparks that are a sight to behold.

I have also seen the idea of "sonderness" being explored in cinema and television. The one which stands out to me the most is the tv series "The Leftovers". In the show's first season, Matt, the priest, takes center stage in the third episode, which completely shifts my perspective on him from a seemingly unremarkable side character to someone I empathized with deeply. This episode also beautifully etches out the phrase that we all are a product of our experiences. It had such a profound impact on me that I paused my binge-watch and went out for a walk later so that I can absorb it fully. For the first time in a while, I found myself hoping to encounter a bustling crowd during my walk.